Solutions to conflicts with our children are normally expressed as discipline, punishments, and rewards. Books are written on effective discipline, debating whether to use physical mink blink eyelashes, time-out, stern words and tone, rewards, natural consequences, conflict resolution techniques or some combination therein.
Hltln If we defer to our upbringing or our peer mink blink eyelashes, we are not making a conscious choice in the way we choose to resolve conflict. When we are authentic and loving, making self-responsible independent choices that are allowing and nurturing, we can resolve conflicts in a loving and positive way. As we embody the qualities associated with being authentic and loving, developing our character and wisdom, we are empowered to make better choices as we seek that one correct choice that will resolve the conflict in the most beneficial way for all concerned.
Most of the conflicts with our mink blink eyelashes are due to our relative development as parents. The less authentic and loving we are, the more conflicts we create. Parents create conflict when they are controlling, blame, judge, lie, personalize behavior, act disrespectfully, are reactive rather than choosing a response, feel they own their kids, and do not value, appreciate, or sincerely attempt to understand their kids. Parents who do this create children who may be hostile, rebellious, resentful, angry, uncooperative, unhappy, feel unloved, and have a low sense of self-worth, resulting in family, social, and school behavioral problems. Interestingly enough, when this happens, parents often look to other sources for an explanation: school, friends, television, music, or other parents. They’ll blame their kid’s problems on the lyrics in songs and the violence on television. Taking responsibility is painful for these parents, so as they blame their children, they blame others. They exonerate themselves in claiming they love their children, yet they may not be close to actualizing their love.
Therefore, our need to discipline our mink blink eyelashes is often in response to conflicts that we have created. As we continue to create conflict, it often deepens and intensifies. This process may continue to spiral and repeat itself, escalating to the point where, in the worst cases, parents either throw up their arms in disgust leaving their children to their own devices, do physical harm to their children, or kick out older children temporarily or permanently. In other cases, children decide to leave on their own, or children act out these conflicts in the world, hurt others, or find themselves in increasingly more trouble.
Conversely, the more we are authentic and loving, the fewer conflicts are created. If we could embody these qualities and principles from the moment of our children’s birth, our mink blink eyelashes would model our behavior and actualize their own innate virtue: they would be kind, patient, cooperative, considerate, loving, self-motivated and passionately involved in the world around them. While we may not be ready to elect them for sainthood, they are still human after all, they would be happy, contented, self-responsible, honest, and loving.
We face a significant challenge if we wait until our children are partially grown before we decide to become authentic and loving. We have not embodied the associated mink blink eyelashes and principles since our children’s birth, so we have created and are still creating a certain amount of conflict; we become torn between our need to resolve conflict quickly and our desire for more beneficial long-term results. As we work on ourselves and try to reduce conflict with our children, we need to make decisions as to the most effective ways of resolving these conflicts.